Life

There comes a time when one must look inside, dig it out, cry over it, dust oneself off, and walk on.
"My legs are strong, I will carry on..."
Everything I have done has made me who I am. The good, the bad, the fuckin ugly. So be it. I can't shake the guilt; it clings to me like filth...might as well savour it, educate myself and those around me, of the joys of light and dark.
Part of me fights it, the other embraces it. Is it right to do both? To relish in the dark,dim corners of life, watching and waiting, and wondering what's next...only to jump out into the light, blinded by the obscenity of life and all it's unabashed colours!? Is it foolish to think that everything does happen for a reason and that one must scrape the bottom of the barrel to feel the joy of triumph?
Turn the leaf over, gasp at the glory of the simple form, the wonderous beauty we call our life...in all its crazy, purple, pure, ugly state.
It's all we got.

Learn.

Just because life is short-lived, long-lived, once-in-a-lifetime, blah blah...doesn't mean we all get it. It doesn't mean we all know appreciation of the little things, of the current state, the past lessons, the future goals, are even significant.
Profoundly, it's in retrospect we all seem to 'learn'.

Work Woes

Feeling a little rough around the edges lately. Physically and spiritually. 2011 was supposed to be a great year, and I had started off determined to make it happen!! I quit smoking (successfully so far!) and had decided to create positive energy, and to stop relying on my so-called realistic pessimism.
Alas, that didn't work so well. Rather stupid, now that I think about it, to try positive learning when I am going through nasty nicotine withdrawls!! Haha, hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it?
Started off a step ahead with a new position at work, but the dark clouds rolled in rather quickly....pink slips probably being handed out this Friday due to contract and Union issues and an unreasonable employer. Well, really the devil in disguise, but we I get into that here; that's a whole other post, or blog even!
Healthcare has been spiraling down that staircase for years, and I think 2011 is the start of rock-bottom for us, but then....our only way out is up, right?
We are insulted, slapped in the proverbial face, with shoddy work conditions, crazy hours and pay cuts that are more consistent than inflation. I really hope that my coworkers do stick together, and stick to their guns, and we fight the giant together! We need to stand up for our rights and say NO to the 'contract' on principle; if we don't, that so-called contract has basically caused us to bend over and take it where the sun don't shine. Again.
I find it sad, sickening and just downright disheartening to know that the higher powers that be in Healthcare, both public and private sectors, think so little of us that they would bully us into voting for cuts in everything from wage to benefits!
Is it too much to ask to just keep the wage and benefits we have already? We never asked for a payraise at all. We just want to keep working with some dignity so that when we reach our final, golden years, we too, can grow old gracefully and with a roof over our heads.
Healthcare 'triumphs' are on the backs of the workers and these aren't triumphs at all when you look closely.

Winners Wonderland

Ahhhh, nothing beats the winter blues like a little retail therapy with my almost-14 year-old daughter! We toughed out the slightly nasty, high-maintenance crowds at Winners (ugh, I hate Winners) because Mommy had a withering, sighing gift card in her wallet from about a year ago. Can you tell I'm not a fan of Winners?! But, the fresh, light Spring fashions for both clothing and the home seemed to breathe new life into this thirtysomething ole girl and I found myself in the Juniors section with Rylee, oohing and ahhing over the silliest frocks! Wow, do some people really wear that stuff!? I steared clear from the jean section because I didn't want to ruin the suddenly wonderful mood I was in: all butterflies and dandelions for me!! So, what do I find hanging up beside me as Rylee and I curse and point and laugh at the hideous outfits in the clearance section (yes, we KNOW why there's a clearance on the clearance section!)? The cutest, palest, almost see-through country blouses in the prettiest spring colours. And all they had left in sizes??? Yes, I gasped...SMALL. Would a small in Juniors fit? Darn it, for $19.99 I had to try! Lo, and behold, I saunter to the change rooms in that glorious mood that somehow found me the minute the car parked near the stores, and found, to my surprise, they fit. Perfectly. They were practically singing my name.....in a soft, sensuous voice whispering of daises and violets and green grass....looking at myself in the fluorescent-cad mirror, with my pale, winter skin and my mousy brown hair I feel young and fresh and full of hope in those blouses. Like a young girl facing a spring full of wonder and innocence. I could barely see the grey hair in my Winners daydream.
Needless to say Rylee and I came out of the store with our purchases (of course a 14 year-old girl is going to find SOMETHING to buy) with a bounce to our step and renewed sense of joy towards the month of March. Because, after all March means one thing: Spring...eventually.

No-Phone Zone!

Watching a bit of the Oprah show today, I was amazed at how such an issue has evaded our society until now! I have always been an avid texter and can confess am addicted to my Blackberry. My almost 14-year old daughter, (who should have her cell surgically attached to her hand to make things easier!), can attest to that.

However, when both of my children were pleading with me to put my phone down at times when I was driving them to school or sporting events, fighting traffic and cursing I couldn't get the right symbol I wanted to send to the eager texter on the other end of my Smartphone wonder, I realized something: life is too precious to waste over a smiley face and LOL.

Not that I put the phone down right away. It's been a slow progress. It helps being from British Columbia, Canada, where as of January 1st of 2010 everyone in our Province was not only celebrating the New year and perhaps suffering from a few hangovers, but we were also adjusting to a Hands-Free Zone.

It is now illegal to be texting or talking while driving a vehicle in our province; the fine is hefty and the points a driver can accumulate are not worth it. Who wants to lose their license over a cell phone!!???

So, I too, had my AHA moment watching horrendous video of accidents caused by texting and driving, and just by the mere fact of being 'busted' by the police for such a stupid infraction, have put down the phone. Well not down, but away, in my purse, in the back seat (where my ingenious son now has the ability to rifle through it to find gum!)

I hope you all join the pledge, not only for Oprah,(because, really, does she need another big birthday wish?) but for ourselves and for everyone out there who are at the mercy of our driving!